Tell Me That You Love Me
by AndAllThatGoodStuff
Summary: It was three in the morning and Logan and I would both need to be up in a few hours to get to the set. I know how much he values his sleep, but this was important and I needed to talk to someone about it. Co-written with BoomBamCRASHExplosion.
1. Chapter 1

**Tell Me That You Love Me**

**Part 1**

I knocked firmly on Logan's door. It was late...or early depending on how you look at it. It was three in the morning and Logan and I would both need to be up in a few hours to get to the set. I know how much he values his sleep (as do I), but this was important and I needed to talk to someone about it.

I let out an impatient breath and knocked again, louder and harder. After a minute I saw the light in the foyer flip on and some footsteps. I stopped knocking and waved when I saw Logan peaking through the little window on his door. "Kendall!" He whisper-yelled at me once he opened the door.

"Hey, Logie," I managed a small smile.

"What the hell are you doing here?" He yawned. "It's three in the morning." He glared at me.

I could feel my smile literally drop as I let out a sigh. "Can we talk?"

His glare faded completely into worry. "Okay, s-sure." He stepped aside to let me in.

I kicked off my shoes at the door and followed him to the kitchen. We didn't say anything. I sat quietly at the table, staring intently at my hands as the events of the last few hours replayed in my head and Logan fiddled around in his kitchen. It was several minutes before he joined me, placing a cup of coffee in front of me.

I glanced over at him and watched him nervously run his hand through his not-yet gelled hair. "You, uh, wanted to talk." He wouldn't look at me.

"Yeah," I cleared my throat. "Logie..."

"I swear, Kendall, whatever it is I did, I'm sorry." He cut me off and spoke quickly. "Please, don't break up with me. I love you!" Logan was now staring at me, his eyes brimming with tears and pleading.

I blinked. "I'm not breaking up with you Logie."

I saw him visibly relax and a small smile grace his lips. "Oh," He chuckled to himself. I could tell he was relieved by the news. "Then what is it?"

I ran my hand through my hair, and began picking at a lose chip of wood on the table that was getting more interesting by the minute. "I-I found out something. And I don't know what to do." I told him softly.

"Kendall, is everything okay? You can tell me if it isn't." He scooted his chair closer to mine, placing a hand on my knee.

I continued picking at the splinter in the table. "I...I don't know Logan. I really don't."

He sighed and began rubbing my upper knee soothingly. "What if I guess? Would that make it easier?"

"Yeah." I shook my head. "But I don't think you'll be able to guess this."

"Okay," He took a long pause. "Is it something about you?" He finally asked.

"Kinda, yeah."

"Um, okay." He breathed out. "Is it something that can affect a lot of people?"

"Not a lot of people. Not really."

He rubbed up and down his arm nervously. "Will it...does it affect us...in any way?"

I nodded. "Yes." I whispered barely audible.

I heard him swallow. "K-Kendall, please just tell me." He pleaded softly.

I stopped picking at the splinter that had held my interest up until now. I groaned and stood up, running my hands anxiously through my hair. I looked at the worried dark haired boy for a second, and then began pacing in front of the table trying to figure out how to say what I came here to say. "I don't know why I came here tonight...well actually I did. I came here to try and calm down. I came here to get the thing that has been bothering me for the last few hours off my chest, and figure out what to do about it."

His eyes followed my pacing. "Then tell me." He whispered.

"That's the problem! I don't think I can!" I barked, regretting it instantly as I saw the hurt expression on my boyfriend's face. For the thousandth time that night, I sighed. "I'm sorry Logie. It's just, I really want to. I just don't know how." I said, still pacing.

"I've never given you a reason to think you couldn't tell me anything, so just come out and say it!"

"Dustin likes me okay! He likes me and I don't know what the hell to do!" I screamed at him. Not how I wanted it to come out, but it works.

He blinked at me. "That's it? Dustin likes you? That's all?"

I groaned. "It's not just that. I'm talking...he likes me. Loves me, is more like it." I shook my head, my hair flying in all different directions. "He's in love with me, Damn it!."

I was more confused than ever when Logan started laughing. "Dude! You had me freaking out for a second!"

My pacing abruptly stooped and I looked at him. "What are you talking about it? You already fucking knew!" My confused feelings going to the back of my mind as I got extremely pissed.

His laughing stopped when he noticed my shift in mood. His eyes shifted. "I, uh...well..." He bit his lip nervously.

"Logan, now is not the time for your stuttering. It's a yes or no answer." I said pointing a finger in his direction. "Which is it?" I asked, my jaw tight and teeth clenched.

He stood slowly, clearly nervous. "Please don't be mad..."

"Why the hell didn't you tell me?" I asked slowly trying to keep calm.

I could tell he was getting upset again, but I couldn't bring myself to care right now. "It wasn't my business to tell!" He explained desperately.

"How did you find out?"

"I don't want to say." I gave him a look. "It will only make you feel worse."

I took a breath, taking a seat in the chair across from him. "Try me."

He slowly sat back down and stared at his hands. "Kendall...it was sort of obvious." He said softly. "The way he looked at you, they way he treated you like you were his everything...because you were -are! You are his everything."

I stared at him. It was all I could do.

"Kendall?" He asked, worry laced in his voice. "Are you okay?"

My mouth parted slightly, and my eyes squinted. "Huh?" I mumbled as I started thinking.

His eyes shifted. "What's on your mind, babe?" He chuckled nervously.

I felt my head cock to the side. Then after a minute, I came back to reality. "Nothing. Look, it's late and we got a lot of stuff to do tomorrow. So I'm gonna head home."

I said as I began to rise. He opened his mouth to speak.

"No, I'm not mad at you. I understand why you didn't say anything. I was...am...just a little shocked." I bent down in front of him. "Relax Logie. I swear I'm not mad." I smiled softly, and gave him a quick kiss.

"Okay," He smiled, but I could tell there was a bit of hesitation and worry behind it. He stood and walked me to the door. "I'll see you later, then."

"Yeah. I'll see you later." I smiled again.

"Goodnight." He smiled crookedly and shut the door behind me.

I breathed in the cool night air and smiled to myself. This smile slightly different than the one that I gave to Logan just moments earlier. I still didn't know what my reaction really was to all this. Confusion was a definite. Shocked, not so much. I think deep down I knew it was coming. I also think that had I found out before I met Logan, I probably wouldn't have hesitated to take the wheel and see where a relationship with Dustin could go. Now, though...that's what had me worried. But somehow, I knew everything would turn out okay. So, with that I turned and headed to my place.


	2. Chapter 2

**Tell Me That You Love Me**

**Part 2**

Why the hell did I do that?

I was perfectly content with him being adorably oblivious of everything yesterday, and then today I just blurt it out. It's all stupid Logan's fault for being so "amazing" and "incredible" and "the best thing that's ever happened to music."

He's never said that about me!

_Fuck! _It was straw that broke the camel's back. The final nail in my coffin. The fucking fork in my ass! My jealousy had finally gotten the best of me and I snapped.

"_Are you serious? We've known each other for fucking years. I've done nothing but try to show you how I feel about you since the day we met, but you're too oblivious to everything to see what's been right in front of you all this time. Why can't you figure out that I love you?"_

I'll never shake the image of how shocked he was out of my head. His eyes practically bugged out of his head, his jaw literally dropped, and he looked utterly confused, more confused than I've ever seen him.

The voice in my head was screaming at me to stop talking, but the word vomit just kept coming.

"_You can't seriously be that stupid. I honestly thought you would've got it by now, but apparently I'd have to beat you over the head with a guitar for you to understand! Or maybe I should just wave my dick in your face and seduce you with sex, that seems to work."_

Before I could hear or see his reaction to me pretty much calling his boyfriend a slut, I diva stomped my way to my room and slammed the door.

I groaned, covering my face. "Why the hell did I do that?" I screamed at myself and threw my blankets and pillows to the floor. I probably just ruined everything. I punched the wall. "Ow," I whimpered, hugging my fist to my hand.

"Smooth." He said from behind me. "Very smooth."

I whipped my head around and saw Kendall leaning against my door frame looking like the smug bastard he was. "How long were you standing there?"

He pulled a one-shoulder shrug, that added to his smug bastardiness. I don't think that's actually a word, but it should be damn it. "About since a little before the screaming and punching the wall. You throw one hell of a bitch fit, you know that?" He said quirking an eyebrow. I found that look sexy and irritating all at the same time. Damn him.

"Yes, my bitch fit actually got first place in the Kansas Bitch Fit Pageant of 2006." I replied sarcastically.

He chuckled. "Ah, I heard about that. Nice job by the way. You really showed those other whiny, over-exaggerating losers. Coming in first place and all." He replied just as sarcastically.

I squinted my eyes at him in a half-hearted glare but I couldn't help laughing a bit. "You douche." I mumbled, picking up my pillows blanket.

He laughed too. "Look at us. Talking like nothing happened. No awkwardness." He looked away. "You don't have to freak D. It's okay." He said softly.

I raised my brow at him. "Is it?" I threw my pillow back down at the head of the bed with a little more force than necessary. "It doesn't feel okay."

"It is. Trust me." He took a step forward. "Everything is good. I'm not gonna leave, and I'm not gonna freak. I'm not gonna act like it never happened." He stopped, looking slightly down as an emotion I thought was sadness crossed his features for a split second. "That is, unless you want me to."

I looked down, pulling at a loose thread on my pillowcase. "I don't know, that acting like it never happened option is sounding pretty good right about now." I mumbled.

He chuckled. "You are such a baby." He shook his head.

"Who are you calling a baby?" I punched him in the shoulder. "Jackass."

"Hey. I am not a jackass." He said. I raised my eyebrow at him. "Ok, I'm not a jackass all the time." I kept staring at him. "We all have our moments!" He said clearly getting agitated. I smirked and shook my head.

"Right dude. Whatever you say."

"Even you do, dude." He went on. "In just a few hours, you called me stupid, called Logan a whore, and got yourself nominated in the California Bitch Fit Pageant of 2011." He counted them off on his fingers.

I laughed, rubbing the back of my neck. "Sorry about that Logan comment, by the way. It might of been a bit out of line." I leaned back, positioning my arms behind me to keep me up right.

He shook his head. "No, dude. It's cool." He sighed, letting himself fall onto my bed. "I was a _way _bigger jackass."

"Yeah, you were." I nodded.

He stared at me with a look that clearly said "you weren't supposed to agree with that." I shrugged. He laughed and knocked my arms from under me, causing me to fall onto my back. We were now laying side by side.

I turned my head to face him, giving a "what was that for?" look.

He answered with a smirk and another one shoulder shrug. I rolled my eyes at him. _That jackass. _I thought with a smile. We continued to just sit there, looking at each other. I watched Kendall's smirk slowly fall from his face and morph into a thoughtful frown.

Before I knew what was happening, Kendall had leaned forward and captured my bottom lip between his. I blinked. I was slowly coming to the realization that Kendall was kissing me.

_Kendall _was kissing me.

Kendall was kissing _me._

_Kendall was kissing me!_

I didn't get a chance to get the full enjoyment off it. Before I was able to compare it to fireworks, or describe the flutters in my belly as the beat of a butterfly's wings, and every other cliche in the book, Kendall was pulling back.

He was smirking again. I assumed it was because of the look on my face - half shocked, half euphoric. I let out a slight laugh. "Um, w-what was that?" I sat upright in an attempt to hide my blush.

I heard Kendall chuckle. "It was a kiss." I was more than sure he was smirking even wider, but I didn't turn around to see; I was still blushing like crazy. "And if you come back down here we can do it again."

I let out a sound of surprise when he grabbed my shirt and pulled my lips back onto his. This time my shock faded a lot quicker and I was able to kiss him back. The feel of his lips moving against mine sent a chill up my spine. This was everything I had been waiting for, how some of my best dreams had started.

But...

My face contorted in reluctance as a thought came to me. "Mmph...Kendall, wait." I mumbled, pulling back from the kiss. I looked down at the pouty face he was giving me and sighed. "What about your boyfriend?"

He smirked again. "I'm trying to make out with him, but he keeps pulling away." He answered, pulling me back down, picking up right where we left off.

I smiled into the kiss, realizing he called me his boyfriend. I was becoming more and more giddy by the second.

But we seriously had to talk about this.

"Wait," I pulled back again. He gave me an impatient look this time. "I'm serious, Kendall. What about Logan?"

"Trust me, I'll handle it, okay?" He smiled softly, before tugging me back down.

Our lips met for half a second before I moved back again. "But, wait,"

"What?" He groaned.

I sat up fully this time. Kendall finally released my shirt and sat up also. "You were so in love with Logan like six hours ago. Then you find out how I feel about you and...all that changes?"

He sighed. "No, not everything has changed." He looked straight into my eyes. "I do still have feelings for Logan, but I have feelings for you, too. This may sound bad, but tonight I found out that I care about you a lot more than I care about Logan. Everything I've done, you've always come first. And when I think about my future, you're always there. I can't imagine my life without you."

I was sure I was grinning like an idiot by now. "Wow," I looked down, blushing again.

He chuckled. "Anymore questions?" He asked, lifting my head, forcing us to make eye contact again. I shook my head. "Good." He grinned. Suddenly he pushed me down onto my back and crawled over my body, flashing that smirk again. "Now, you're gonna shut up and let me kiss you."

I nodded, closed my eyes and let his lips meet mine once again.


	3. Chapter 3

**Tell Me That You Love Me**

**Part 3**

I was sitting in my dressing room, going over my lines for the day, when my door cracked open and Kendall poked his head in. "Knock, knock." He smiled softly.

"Hey," I looked up from my script. "What's up?"

He sighed, shutting the door behind him. My brows shot up at the sight of his uneasiness and the fact he didn't immediately sit beside me. Instead he leaned against the door and he was obviously trying to find anything to look at that wasn't me. "Logan, we need to talk."

A million sirens went off in my head.

Red flag!

Danger Will Robinson!

I gulped. "Alright," I nodded, hoping I was wrong and I was just over-reacting again. It was silent. I was getting a sense of deja vu as we sat there - me trying to calm myself down and stop jumping to the worse case scenario, and Kendall not speaking, looking scared of telling me whatever was on his mind.

Finally, he sighed and hesitantly sat down next to me. "Logan, I-I don't know how to say this..."

It was my turn to sigh as I placed my script down on the table. "Like I said last night, Kendall: you can tell me anything."

He took in a deep breath. "You gotta know, Logan, I never wanted to hurt you in any way."

It was getting harder and harder to convince myself that I was going to come out of this situation with my heart in tact. "I know that." I said shakily.

"And what ever happens between us we'll always be friends." We locked eyes for the first time since he walked in. I could see he felt scared and guilty. I inhaled sharply as all the negative thoughts from earlier came flooding back. I could feel that lump forming in my throat and my vision became blurred.

I looked away quickly, not wanting Kendall to see. "It's Dustin...isn't it?" I was surprised that my voice came out steady.

"I'm so sorry, Logan." He whispered.

I shook my head. "No, it's okay. I'm happy for you." I managed to flash him a smile. "Really, I am."

"Are you sure?"

I shrugged. "I kind of saw this coming." I chuckled, rubbing my arm. "It's weird how much I've thought about it actually."

I heard Kendall let out a heavy sigh. "I really am a jackass." He mumbled.

I snorted. "Who told you that?" I fell back into the couch.

Kendall chuckled also. "Dustin."

"Ah," I nodded in understanding. "Well, he's right."

Kendall's head whipped around sporting a look that was a mix of disbelief and amusement. "Seriously?"

I laughed. "You said it."

"But you're not supposed to agree! Does no one understand that anymore?" I began laughing at the ridiculousness of the conversation. "It isn't funny." I looked over to see him pouting like a child. I couldn't help but think he was adorable and I wanted nothing more than to lean over and kiss that pout away.

I felt a small pang in my chest as I resisted the urge to do so. I crossed my arms awkwardly and cleared my throat in order to fight off another slow forming lump. Kendall seemed to notice my attitude change. "I really am sorry." He said softly.

I let out a breathy laugh. "I'm not mad, dude. Stop apologizing."

"I can't help it. I hate seeing my friends so upset." He huffed. "If I were you, I would just punch me or something."

I shrugged.

"That's it." He proclaimed suddenly.

I blinked at him. "What's it?"

"Punch me."

"What?"

"Come on, it'll make us both feel better."

"Kendall, I'm not going to punch you."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm not upset."

"But I deserve it and I know that deep down you really want to."

I couldn't disagree with that.

"Logan?"

I rolled my eyes.

"Logan."

I sighed.

"Logan!"

He wasn't expecting me to actually lean over and sock him in the shoulder.

I leaned back, once again relaxing into the couch, watching as Kendall grabbed his shoulder. His mouth hung open, but no sound came out. I didn't know if he was trying to be quiet or if it hurt so bad that he was screaming at a pitch so loud that only dogs and other small animals could hear.

"You hit me!" He yelled in shock. "You really hit me!"

I chuckled. "You told me to." I shrugged. "So I did. I would've hit you in your face, but I didn't want to leave a bruise and mess up your cuteness. Or worse..I could have aimed a little high and broken your nose. That just wouldn't have been good."

He laughed a little but from the way he held his shoulder I could tell he was still in pain. "But dude, that _really _hurt." He began rubbing it. "I didn't expect you to hit me so hard."

I shrugged again. "What can I say? I may be small, but I pack a punch." I gave a sheepish grin. "Plus it helped that I was a little angrier than I led on to be. But it made me feel a little better." I said rubbing the back of my neck.

He rolled his eyes. "Good. And since I have a feeling there's more pent up anger in that tiny body of yours...I'm going out and getting you a damn punching bag." He smirked.

I smiled. "You know..that might actually do me some good. I could put the face of whoever I'm mad at, at the time, and pretend I'm punching them." My eyes widened and my smile grew. "Oooohhh! Yes! That would be awesome!" I said getting excited.

Kendall blinked, and if I'm not mistaken, he might have gulped too. "Uh...yea. Yea, t-that works too."

"I'm scaring you aren't I?"

He blinked a couple more times. "A little...yea."

"Sorry...just got a little excited."

"I could tell." He cleared his throat. "So...we cool?" He asked nervously.

I sighed. I could say no and be all 'Of course not! You're leaving me for another guy! How could we be cool!', but I was being honest when I told him I kinda saw it coming. So, I did the mature thing. I smiled, a honest to goodness smile, and said "Yea Kendall. We're cool."

He sighed with relief. "Cool." He smiled, and slowly opened his arms a bit, silently asking for a hug.

I stared at him for a second before walking the little distance separating us and wrapped my arms around his midsection. He wrapped his arms around my neck, and we stayed like that for a little bit. Just holding each other. It felt good. But all too soon, it had to end. He let go, said bye...and walked out of my room, and life, forever.

Ok, so maybe not my life...but still. It hurt nonetheless. Though I'm not sure what would've hurt worse. Never seeing him again, or seeing him everyday, but not being able to hold or kiss him ever again. I guess I was gonna find out.

**Who asked for more?**


	4. Chapter 4

_I just wanna take the time to thank SecretLifeOfAChemNerd for the awesome review it made me and Stacie smiled :)_

* * *

**Tell Me That You Love Me**

**Part 4**

I think I'm gonna puke.

Kendall and Dustin had been together for a day - a full twenty-four hours - and had all they had done so far was kiss and giggle. I tried to ignore the kissing noises going on beside me. I wanted to focus on my script. I wanted to hurry and learn my lines, so I can do my scenes quicker, and I could go home.

But that was almost impossible to do when...

*giggle*

"You're a really good kisser."

"You're a better kisser."

"No, you are."

"No, you."

"Let's compare."

...Was going on behind you. I'm literally holding back vomit. _Why, oh why God? Why me? What did I do to deserve this? I'm a good person. I barely lie. I never cheated. And when I did lie, it was for a good reason._ "Why do you hate me so!"

"We don't hate you." I heard from beside me.

Crap. "I wasn't talking to you guys." I said sheepishly.

I felt their confused gazes on the side of my head. "Then who were you talking to?" I heard Kendall ask.

"Uh," _Think of something. Anything. Anything at all. Oh, my God. Stop thinking about thinking and say something._ "Myself?"

I mentally face-palmed for it coming out as a question.

Their confused expressions grew. "Was that a question or a statement?" Dustin asked.

"A statement!" I replied quickly.

They blinked. "Right..." They said together and then proceeded to giggle at their silliness. I wanted to barf.

I proceeded to slam my script down, with much more force than intended, and stomped away mumbling a quick "I need some air." I'd be surprised if either one of them noticed, seeing as they had started making out again.

I walked down several hallways until I was back in my dressing room. I walked in with every intention of pouting, maybe even crying a little bit, but my plans were ruined when Dustin walked in behind me.

I briefly wondered how I didn't notice him following me until he spoke up. "Okay, I feel like a major douche." He sighed.

My first thought was to pull a "Ya think!" but decided against it and went with "What do you mean?" instead.

He rolled his eyes. "Oh come on Logan. You're not that subtle with your hissy fits." I opened my mouth to argue, but he kept going before I could. "I mean, I don't blame you. You have every reason to be pissed off. I mean your boyfriend broke up with you to go out with your worst nemesis. Not to mention we make out in front of you all the time. Not caring. Or, at least that's what it seems like. When in all reality we do, we just get caught up every once in awhile. To which I'm very sorry for." He paused to breathe and I took that as an opening.

"Okay...one, 'nemesis'? Really? I never liked you Dustin, but I wouldn't consider you my nemesis." I folded my arms over my chest.

He shrugged. "It sounded cooler than just saying you didn't like me."

I shook my head. "Okay...and two, apology accepted."

"Really? Just like that?" He cocked his head to the side. "No yelling, no hitting, no pushing, no name calling?"

"Uh, no. None of that. Yet. Give me a few more days, and yes there will be all that and more. But for now, I understand. Just please! Stop doing the couple stuff. In. Front. Of. Me!" I said, my voice getting slightly louder as I finished.

He gave a slight smile. "Okay. But you sure you don't want to punch me? I mean, you punched Kendall."

"Why am I not surprised he told you?" I sighed. "Right now Dustin, I just don't care."

His brows furrowed. "You don't?"

I shook my head.

"Are you sure, because it's okay be upset with me Logan." He said. "I was close to kicking your ass a couple of times when the situation was switched." He smiled at me and I could tell he was only trying to lighten the situation with a joke. I chuckled too, but only at the mental image of this guy trying to kick my ass. "But seriously Logan, I was thinking that maybe now we can try to be friends."

_It's strange that you want to be my friend now that you've stolen my boyfriend._

"Sure," I forced a smile.

He apparently bought it, smiling back he left me alone. I rolled my eyes at the shut door and fell back onto the couch, letting out a heavy drawn out groan. I often wondered why I held so much in.

Kendall and Dustin have both told me that it's okay to feel the way I feel, but I just can't bring myself to express those feelings properly. I didn't want them to feel any worse than they might already feel by constantly acting like a girl about things. It wouldn't be fair to them, and I couldn't live with the guilt of knowing I'm putting a strain on their relationship.

I couldn't help thinking that if Kendall and I were still together then he would be here comforting me, telling me that everything was going to be okay.

I held back tears, rolling onto my stomach and burying my face into the cushions.

There was a faint knock at the door before it creaked open. "Logan?"

Was it pathetic that I was hoping fate would be on my side and the person who was now sitting next to me would be Kendall?

I didn't move or speak, afraid a sob would come out instead. "Dude, are you okay?" James shook me gently, trying to coerce me out of my fetal position.

I opened my mouth to tell him yes, that everything was okay and that I was fine, but no words came out. Instead a sob wracked my body. The tears started flowing like a river. I couldn't hold back anymore. I quickly shook my head, clutching the couch cushions as I cried.

James managed to get me to let go and pulled me into his arms. I buried my face in his shoulder and cried. I cried because I felt betrayed. I cried because I was hurt. I cried because I was angry with not only Kendall, but also myself for not having better control over my emotions and breaking down in front one of my closest friends.

I don't know how long I cried, but I was thankful when my tears stopped falling and I was finally able to breath normally. My body stopped shaking as I moved out of James' grasp. "Um," I wiped my wet cheeks and shifted awkwardly back into the couch. "Sorry about your shirt." I mumbled glancing at the wet spot on the shoulder of his tee.

James chuckled lightly, looking at it too. "It's cool, man. It'll dry." His eyes then went soft and concerned. "Are you okay though?"

I swallowed and nodded.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No." My voice came out raspy. I cleared my throat before continuing. "No, I don't."

He looked skeptical for a moment. "You know, if you ever need to talk, me and Carlos..."

"I won't need to. Thanks." I quickly cut him off. James stared intensely at me, trying to read me but I wouldn't let that happen. I had let my walls down once and had gotten hurt, and I wasn't going to let it happen again. I sat expressionless, walls up. "So, did you need something?" I asked, changing the subject.

James looked reluctant to drop the earlier events, but I guess he realized I wasn't going to talk about it and moved on. "They, uh, need us on the set."

I nodded. "Alright, let's go." I smiled and stood, exiting my dressing room.

I didn't miss the look of concern James shot my way.

* * *

**Idk, how to feel...**

**What about you guys?  
**


	5. Chapter 5

**Tell Me That You Love Me**

**Part 5**

It's like everyday I'm reminded of how big of a jackass I really am.

I made the mistake of not being able to control myself around Dustin and ended up making out with him right in front of Logan. When he slammed his script down, we jumped apart. "I need some air." He mumbled. I felt like he had slammed his script down just to get us to stop, but the look in Logan's eyes as he ran off was heartbreaking to say the least.

"Fuck," I groaned, looking at Dustin who looked just as guilty. I hated that he felt that way when all this was my fault. I hated that Logan's attitude was effecting him, when the only person he should have a problem with is me. "Maybe I should talk to him..." I began to stand, but Dustin stopped me.

"No, no, I'll do it."

"You sure?" I should've been the one to comfort Logan, and I didn't want to risk Logan saying something and making Dustin feel worse.

"Worth a shot." He shrugged going off in the direction Logan went before I could say anything else.

I huffed, rubbing my face in frustration. I never wanted any of this to happen. Logan and I weren't supposed to end up like this. We were supposed to be laughing and joking around, being best friends, like how it was before.

I understood how it will take some time to get over the break up. A lot longer than twenty-four hours. Break ups were never easy. I was having to fight the urge to hug him, kiss him, and comfort him every time I saw the sadness in his eyes. Every time he looked at me, it was like he was trying to get me to see how much I had hurt him. It was like he wasn't even trying to move on. Like all he wanted to do was be mad at me and Dustin all the time just to make us feel guilty about being together.

And for that I was pissed off.

Deep down, I knew though. Logan would never purposely hold a grudge over my head. He wasn't the kind of person to aspire to ruin a relationship out of anger and spite. He was hurt. He probably felt awkward around us. He was holding so much in and having to cover it up everyday and literally put on a show so no one knew how he was really feeling, all for the sake of my feelings.

And for that I felt grateful and guilty.

Never in my entire life had I felt so conflicted.

Hence, my frustration.

I opened my eyes and uncovered my face when I heard a sigh from beside me. Dustin was back and sitting beside me. "How's he doing?"

"He says he's okay and that he doesn't care, but he clearly does." Dustin rubbed his forehead in frustration. "Maybe this is all moving too fast." I mumbled.

I opened my mouth to protest but was interrupted by the call off my name along with James, Carlos, and Logan's to make our way back on set for the run through. I shot Dustin a quick 'we'll talk later' look and went to my mark.

I stood beside James and Carlos who were looking over their lines one last time.

"Where's Logan?" Carlos looked around.

I shrugged, "He went to his dressing room earlier." I commented absently, still trying to wrap my head around what Dustin had said.

"Will someone go find Logan?" I heard the director yell from somewhere in the sea of camera men and other crew.

"I'll get him." I furrowed my brows as James shot me a quick glare and went off to find him.

That's just what I needed. More drama.

"What's his problem?" I mumbled to the Latino still at my side.

He sighed. "He's just a little ticked that you dumped Logan for Dustin. You know him; he's protective over his friends."

"And what about you?" I quirked a brow at him.

"What about me?"

"You're not pissed at me too? Everyone else is."

"Kendall," He sighed. "You, Dustin, and Logan are all my friends and I care about all of you. So, to answer your question, I am not pissed at you; I'm concerned for you...all of you."

I nodded, understanding where he was coming from. I was concerned too. I wanted Logan to be happy. I wanted Dustin to stop feeling so guilty. I wanted James to stop being mad at me. I wanted Carlos to not have to worry about it.

I wanted to stop being to damned conflicted!

I was never one to put my own happiness ahead of others, but I couldn't please everyone. The longer I thought about it, the more I realized that there was no possible way that everyone would come out of this situation happy. Being with Logan and being with Dustin both had its pros and cons.

If I stayed with Dustin, everyone could eventually move on, Logan and I will be cool, and Dustin and I could be happy together.

Then there's a small chance that James would hate me, and our friendship will die. Carlos could worry himself to death. Logan could hold so much in for so long that he'll eventually snap.

I didn't want to think of what he would do if that happened.

Dustin could feel so guilty about everything that he'd eventually break up with me in an attempt to rid himself of the guilt, but he goes on to die of a broken heart because he can't be the one he wants most.

And I'll have to live with the guilt of it all.

If I leave Dustin and get back with Logan, Dustin would understand and everything would go back to the way it was before.

Or Dustin could sink into a deep depression, quit the band, and I'd never see him again. James would still hate me. Carlos would worry himself to death -

I shook my head, trying to clear my mind as if it were an etch-a-sketch. I was starting to scare myself.

"Dude," Carlos nudged me. "What were you thinking about?"

"I, um," I looked up noticing Logan and James finally making their way onto the set. "How long was I out?"

"About twenty minutes."

I was surprised that I was thinking that long but my curiosity as to what Logan and James were doing in Logan's dressing room for twenty minutes overruled that. As they walked passed, I could see them whispering to each other. My curiosity got the best of me when I decided to listen in. It was just my luck that they were really good at whispering and I could only catch little snippets of what they were saying.

"Don't tell anyone. I want it to stay between us."

My brows furrowed at this. I felt jealousy rise in me. I wanted to know now more than ever what happened back there. I glanced at the two. They sat quiet and expressionless. My anger grew. I had no doubt that I was now showing it. I glanced at Carlos who was looking at me with a look of concern.

"Quiet on set!"

"Big Time Rush run through! Scene apple, take one!"

"Action!"

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**Okay, I got some really great reviews for the last chapter. But we have a concern. We haven't really been telling you guys who's POV the chapter is in, because it will switch around a lot. Has this been an inconvenience to anyone? Would it help if we put who's POV the chapter is in at the beginning of it?**


	6. Chapter 6

**Tell Me That You Love Me**

**Part 6**

I sat there watching him watching them. Kendall was glaring daggers in the direction of James and Logan. He always did that. Everyday he would come in, see those two talking, and would go nuts. I was starting to get a little annoyed. "Kendall." I groaned. He didn't respond. He kept his eyes on the way James would stay glued to Logan's side. Now I was very annoyed. "Kendall!" I shook him.

"What?" He snapped at me.

I rolled my eyes. I was way too irritated to be hurt by the way he was acting. "Why are you glaring at them?" I gestured to his two cast mates sitting across the room from us.

"What? Who?" He glanced back at me quickly only to turn back to them. "I don't know what you're talking about." He mumbled quickly.

I bit back the urge to yell and cause a scene. The last thing I needed was to attract attention to us. "James? Logan? You've been staring at them for days. It's creepy and obsessive."

He continued to mumble. "Yeah, yeah, you look nice."

I glared at the back of his head. "Kendall, you're not even looking at me."

I couldn't even make a joke about how girly the conversation sounded. That's how upset I was.

He sighed, turning in his seat and smirking at me. "Hi, Dustin." He tilted his head in an attempt to look innocent and to cutely worm his way out of my being mad at him.

"Hi Kendall." I shot him a fake smile.

"How are you?"

I opened my mouth to answer only to have Kendall turn around and look at James and Logan again when he heard them talking. "Annoyed." I mumbled to myself.

"Why do you think they're hanging out all of a sudden?" Kendall finally put his attention on me, completely looking over my tired look.

"Because they're friends...?" I answered wearily.

Kendall snorted.

"I'm serious, Kendall. Logan needs someone to talk to about this. He's hurting, and frankly...I'm happy that if someone is there for him, it's James."

"Well, I'm not!" He stood and began pacing. "Logan can talk to me; he always has. Why does James have to move in on my Logie?"

My eyes widened. All my tiredness and annoyance with the situation ebbed away and the hurt I was fighting was starting to creep in. "Your Logie?" I repeated, but he didn't seem to hear me.

He continued pacing and ranting on. "I mean, he never had to go to James before, why start now? Clearly he's trying to punish me for breaking up with him and being with you, by flaunting around with James!"

"Is that what you think?" We both turned to see Logan and James standing not too far away. Logan with a hurt look in his eyes and James ready to maul Kendall at any moment. They had clearly heard the whole thing.

My eyes shifted to Kendall. He looked like he was at a loss for words. "Logie," He started.

"You're an asshole Kendall." Logan glared at him before stomping away, James quickly following but not before narrowing his eyes at Kendall.

Kendall groaned and covered his face. "I'm such a dick." He mumbled into his hands.

I didn't say anything, because I agreed.

He peeked through a slit through his fingers. "Aren't you going to say anything?"

Oh, so now he talks to me. "What do you want me to say Kendall?"

He moved his hands from his face completely and gave me a dirty look. "I don't know. How about 'Oh no Kendall. You're not a dick, you're just confused. Everything will be ok.' I think that would work."

I resisted the urge to groan and/or roll my eyes. "You want me to lie to you?" I asked incredulously.

"What part of that would be lying!" He yelled/asked.

Realizing how our quiet conversation was quickly escalating to a loud argument, I grabbed his arm and pulled him in a storage closet close by. I shut the door, and then taking a deep breath, I turned to look him straight in the eye. "Okay, now you listen and you listen good. I love you Kendall, I really do. But right now, and here lately you have been acting like a complete dick. And I'm not gonna lie to you and say you haven't. But you are confused. That's friggin apparent. But damn it Kendall! I can't say that everything is going to be okay, because right now it isn't! And until you figure out what you fucking want, it won't be!" I paused to take a breath.

He took that as an opening. "What are you talking about Dustin?"

I breathed a humorless laugh. "You know damn well what I'm talking about. You're just too chicken to admit it to yourself and I'm not getting into it now, because if I do it'll lead to me doing something I know I'll regret doing soon afterward. So right now, I'm going to walk away and calm down." I turned to face the door, my hand already on the doorknob.

"B-but.." He stuttered.

"But what?" I asked a bit too harshly.

He gulped. "I'll see you tonight though, right? You'll be home when I get home, I mean."

I sighed a defeated sigh. "Maybe not when you get home, no Kendall. But I will be home at some point. Bye Kendall." And with that I walked out the door, and left Kendall all alone to think things over.

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**I appreciate all the reviews on the last chapter!** **Thank you so much! I also apologize for the shortness of this chapter. I also apologize if Dustin is OOC. I apologize for a lot...lol**


	7. Chapter 7

**Tell Me That You Love Me**

**Part 7**

"Logan!" I kept walking, trying to get to my dressing room to pack my things as fast as I could. "Logan wait!" James kept calling after me, but I continued to ignore him. He had been keeping me company for the worst part of the week - which would include all of it - and I appreciated him for it.

He wasn't trying to force me to talk to him about what was happening with Kendall, but every time I looked at his eyes I could tell he was thinking about it and that he really wanted me to open up to him.

I just couldn't do it.

I've trusted so many people in my life who have hurt me. Kendall was the last straw. I wasn't going to keep putting myself out there, only to get hurt again. It was too painful.

Why couldn't he understand that?

I was doing this to protect myself. I didn't know how much more hurt I could take before I broke completely.

I could feel tears stinging my eyes and I willed them not to fall as I roughly pushed my door open. When I didn't hear the door slam shut behind me immediately, I knew James was still right behind me. I knew he wouldn't just let me go, but I was kind of hoping he would.

If wasn't going to do it willingly, then I was going to have to make him give up. "Go away, James. I don't want to talk about it." I mumbled, beginning to stuff my stuff in my backpack.

"And that's alright, we don't have to talk about that."

"We?" I turned around to see Carlos standing beside him. My eyes shifted back to James, narrowing them at the tall brunet. "You told him." It came out more as a statement then a question.

Carlos gave me a sympathetic smile. "Logie..."

"Don't fucking call me that!" I exclaimed.

They exchanged worried glances before looking back towards me. "Logan, I only told Carlos so you know you have someone else to talk to. If you're not comfortable enough to talk to me -"

I shook my head. "You guys don't get it."

"Logan, we want to get it. If you talk -"

"I don't _want_ to talk! Got it? It's not that I'm not comfortable, or that I can't talk about it, I just _choose_ not to!" I exploded. "For some reason you just can't get that through your heads. Let me slow it down for you. I want...to be left..._alone_."

Carlos looked concerned and a little scared. James took a deep breath. I could tell he was trying to control himself. "Logan, there's no reason to be mad."

I practically gaped at him. "Why the hell not? Kendall's mad. Kendall is mad at me for no reason and I don't have a reason to be mad?"

"That's not what he meant." Carlos spoke softly.

I rolled my eyes, and grabbed my backpack. "Forget it." I grumbled leaving them alone in my dressing room.

I hated having to do that to them. They were only trying to help me, but I didn't want them to help me because they couldn't help me.

No one could help me.

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**This part is even shorter than the last, but I wanted this here. For three reasons...1) This story was seriously lacking Carlos, so I brought him in, 2) I wanted to show how Logan was feeling; I love these chapter the best, and 3) I'm stalling...I'm stalling so hard, it's kind of embarrassing.**

**:)  
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	8. Chapter 8

**Tell****Me****That****You****Love****Me**

**Part**** 8**

Logan was being ridiculous.

There was no way he was okay. He cried on my shoulder for twenty minutes. I sat there and comforted him as he cried his heart out. I tried to stop him from destroying his dressing room, and causing a scene after he over heard what Kendall said and he expects me to forget it?

How can I do that?

I can't do that.

I _won__'__t_do that.

Logan was one of my best friends. Whenever I was down about something, he would always be there for me. He would never let me hold anything in.

"_James__, __it__'__s__ not __healthy __to__ hold __everything __in__. __Sometimes__ you __feel __better __after __you__ talk __about __things__, __and__ you __never __have__ to __wonder __who __to __go __to __because __I__'__ll __always__ be __here__ to__ listen__."_

That's what he told me every time I didn't want to talk about something. I would eventually cave because whenever he saw me he would lift his brow and set his lip in a line, a clear indication that he wasn't happy with me and was too stubborn to let it go.

It would annoy me to the point when I broke and spilled everything, and Logan wouldn't say a word until I was finished. Afterward he would hug me, trying to comfort me the best way he could and it would always help me.

I would joke with him that if he ever tried to hold something in, then I would do the same to him to show him how annoying it was. He would laugh and say "Okay, James."

He didn't think I was serious.

I was a week into it and he hadn't done anything. I didn't get a single reaction out of him. Not a flinch. I was starting to think it wasn't working until he came banging on the door of my home. I rushed to open it, only to be met with a very angry looking Logan. "Logan." I held back a smirk, immediately pulling the, what I've come to call, 'Logan face.'

His glare deepened. "Stop it." He demanded.

I shrugged. "Stop what?" I gave him another look.

"That!" He exclaimed, his hands flying up to his hair. "Stop giving me that look."

"You give it to me."

He looked shocked briefly before his expression went back to anger. "So this all some sick way of getting back at me when I was only trying to help you?"

"No!" I mentally slapped myself for making it sound that way. I sighed, pulling the door open wider. "Come in so we can talk."

He crossed his arms and took cautious steps forward. I closed the door behind him. "Logan, when I'm upset about something and I try to shut people out, you always give me this...face and then I crack." I looked up to see he was still glaring at me. "I just want you to talk to me."

"Well, I told you I didn't want to talk about it, and I don't appreciate you trying to force it out of me." His voice was growing in volume as he spoke. He squeezed his eyes shut, shaking his head. "James, I thought you were my friend."

"I am your friend." I quickly defended myself.

"No, you're not. A real friend would respect my wishes and _not__talk__about__it_."

"No, Logan. That is bull shit." I walked closer to him. I could now see that his eyes were glassy from the not yet shed tears. "Look at you, you're holding so much in it scares me." I cautiously grabbed his shoulders and stared directly into his eyes. "I care about you way, _way_too much to let you shut me out. Please, Logie, talk to me."

His eyes darted everywhere, trying to avoid mine. He gulped before letting his eyes meet mine and his tears fall. "I still love him." He said so quietly that I almost didn't hear him. "But at the same time I hate him. It isn't fair what he did to me. Then to think I was actually trying to hurt him because of it...that's insane! All I ever did was love him and-and I thought he loved me but...I guess I was wrong because as soon as someone else came along, he didn't hesitate to dump me and date him. It all happened so fast I got emotional whiplash." I held back a smile at that. "I-I can't stop loving him though. James...I just..."

Logan's body began shaking as sobs racked through him. I immediately pulled the shorter boy into my chest, allowing him to sob. I couldn't be more relieved that Logan had finally opened up to me. I wasn't lying when I said that Logan was scaring me. I hadn't seen a real smile on his face since Kendall broke up with him.

I was starting to miss it.

But he wasn't going to do it if I just asked. That wouldn't be real. It had to been genuine and on his own terms.

I smoothed my hands up and down his back as he sob began quieting to small hiccups. "Thanks James." He mumbled into my neck.

"It's what friends are for." I squeezed him tighter.

He sniffled, pulling back. "I couldn't ask for a better friend." A small smiled pulled at his lips. It wasn't much but it was a start.

I shrugged. "I do what I do."

I couldn't stop the grin that spread across my face as Logan began to laugh loudly. He was laughing longer and harder than necessary but neither of us cared. I could tell that this was his first real laugh in a long time. I wasn't about to stop him. I loved hearing him laugh.

He wiped his red puffy eyes continued to giggle softly. "You're such a dork, James."

"But I made you laugh." I grinned, really proud of myself at the moment. I didn't have much experience comforting people. I always got awkward and was never much help – any help really – so the fact that it turned out successful was an accomplishment for me.

Logan chuckled again. "You did. You made me laugh." He grinned.

I smiled wider. A smile looked great on him. "Never stop smiling." I muttered.

He looked at me strange. "What?"

My eyes widened, realizing I said that out loud. "I, uh, just...you know, you shouldn't be sad." I stuttered out, rubbing the back of my neck nervously. He smirked at me. "What?" He crossed his arms, giving me his 'face.' I looked away quickly. "So, since you're here, do you want to watch a movie or something?"

I glanced back at him in time to see him shrug and rub his arm. "I actually wouldn't mind talking a little bit longer." He mumbled. I smiled again, nodding, assuring him that I would listen as he did this. "But, um, James?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't tell anyone I cried, okay? I have an image to keep."

I laughed at this. "Yeah, okay, Logan."


	9. Chapter 9

**Tell****Me****that****You****Love****Me**

**Part**** 9**

I couldn't deny that there was tension between Kendall and I. Ever since that day in the studio, we had been kind of drifting and I hated it. I didn't go with him in the morning so we didn't get to see each other from the moment he left to the moment he got home. Even then, he was too tired and I was too awkward to doing anything couple-y together.

I sighed, poking the TV dinner in front of me with a fork but not eating it. There was a point in time when we were happy together and we just hung out and played music together. We were best friends and, though, I didn't like him dating Logan, I would prefer it if it meant I wasn't in danger of losing one of the most important people in my life. At least when he was dating Logan we were still friends.

Now everything was screwed up. We could barely stand the sight of each other...or maybe that was just me. Either way I couldn't help but blame myself.

And Kendall.

That jackass.

He stood right in front of me and called Logan _his __Logie__. _Did he not get how much that hurt? That it's now burned into my brain like a branding on a cow? A big cheap cow who somehow seduced my best friend and _still _has a hold on him now that I have him!

I groaned. I was stupid to think that Kendall could love me in the first place. He's never even said it. But he's never had a problem with saying it to Logan _fucking _Henderson. Kendall was always ready - always willing to take the next step with Logan. Why can't it be that easy for us? What does Logan do to get Kendall to jump through flaming hoops for him? I couldn't even get Kendall to turn his head 180 degrees to look at me.

Hell, what made Logan so damn special?

I stabbed my TV dinner harshly.

I didn't even know why I was still mad at Logan. It wasn't his fault that Kendall was stupid.

I should've done that IQ test when I had the chance.

Maybe that could've saved me some time and trouble. At this point, I didn't even know if being with Kendall was worth the fight anymore. I sunk further into my chair at the thought of it. I hated to admit it, but if this was going to be was relationship with Kendall then I couldn't have it.

He had one last chance.

One chance to show me that this isn't the Kendall that I was going to spend my life with. If he screwed up and hurt me again, I wouldn't hesitate to end it.

I looked up when I heard the front door open and slam shut. "Alright," Kendall threw his keys on the counter and made his way over to me. "Let's fight." He glared.

"What the hell are you talking about?" I glared back, though not moving an inch from my TV dinner.

"Come on Dustin. We've barely said two words to each other since the incident at the studio. There's been tension between us ever since. You're mad at me, and I'm not all that sure what I did to you to make you so pissed off. But I don't like this..this thing between us. I want things to go back like they were before a couple of days ago. And if that means fighting it out, so be it."

I stared at the blonde-haired boy speechless. _He__ doesn__'__t __know __what __he __did__? __Is__ he __kidding__? _ "Are you kidding? Please tell me you're kidding, Kendall. How can you not know what you did to piss me off? Huh?" I screeched at him.

He threw his hands in the air. "I don't know Dustin. I just know that somehow I did." He looked at me with sad eyes. Normally that look would be enough for me to drop everything and kiss the sadness away. But I couldn't this time. I wouldn't. "Was it something I did? Something I said?" He asked softly.

I sighed. "You honestly don't know?"

He looked at me and shook his head. "No."

I ran my hand through my hair. "You...you called him "Your Logie" Kendall. Right in front of me. In front of your _boyfriend_. How do you expect me to react to that? Especially when you didn't take it back, you didn't apologize. You didn't even notice how much that hurt me."

"W-well, Dustin," Kendall ran his hands through his hair, clearly getting frustrated. I rolled my eyes. He hasn't been frustrated until he walks a mile in my shoes. "Why didn't you just say something? I told you before that I'm not a mind reader and that you have to talk to me. You may not have noticed, but I'm not exactly that smart."

"Yeah, but Kendall you don't have to be that smart in order to figure out that would upset me. It's common sense that calling your ex 'Yours' in front of your current boyfriend whom loves you beyond a doubt, would upset him. Even if you didn't know for sure, you should've still assumed it."

"You've known me for years! I'm not good at that stuff! But you've gotten very good at getting on my nerves lately, Dustin." He glared.

My eyebrows raised til they disappeared in my hair line. "I've been getting on _your_ nerves? How have I been getting your nerves?" I asked, trying not to yell.

"You're always complaining." He rolled his eyes. "You're never happy about anything. You've become a hard to please whiny bitch. That's not the Dustin I've known for years. That's not the Dustin I was in a band with." He looked at me sadly. "What happened?"

"What happened was I fell in love with a stupid, ignorant blonde." I said through clenched teeth, slowly losing my cool.

He sighed. "Yes, I'm stupid. I was stupid for even trying this in the first place, for thinking we could be more than friends. It's done nothing but screw us up. I love you too much for our friendship to suffer like this."

My eyes widened at his words. Did he really just say...? No way. My mind was playing tricks on me. I'm so fucked up that I've convinced my self that Kendall actually said he loved me. I looked up into those big green eyes that I loved so much. They were sad, tired, hurting, but I could see love in them. I felt my heart swell with emotion. "Y-you love me?"

He rolled his eyes at me. "Of course I love you Logan."

My jaw dropped to the floor.

That loud rip you just heard? That was my heart. I just experienced the drop on the love roller coaster. I was depressed again so fast, it hurt. Tears sprung in my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. Maybe I misheard him. There was no way he just said that. "What did you just say?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

"I said...I love you Dustin?" He said.

I blinked a couple times, my jaw back in place, and straightened up. "We're through." I swallowed. "I can't do this. Not anymore. I'm sorry. We're through."

"Wait, what?" He looked angry and confused all at the same time. "Why? What did I do this time? I just told you I love you. You should be happy."

I shook my head. "No. You didn't. You said "I love you Logan" not I love you Dustin." I said sadly.

His brows furrowed. He opened his mouth, probably to deny it but he quickly snapped it shut. His face went thoughtful for a while. I could see the gears turning in his head. Then his eyes went wide in horror. "I...oh my god." He looked at me in apology. "Dustin, I am _so_sorry."

I shook my head again. "It doesn't matter. I can't do this anymore." I tossed my untouched dinner in the trash. "It's probably better this way anyway Kendall. You can get back together with Logan, and, it'll take some time, but we'll eventually be back to being friends and everyone will be happy again."

With that I went to my room, leaving him in the kitchen. As I shut my door, I could vaguely hear the front door opening and shutting, leaving me alone.

That's when I finally let the tears fall.

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**This chapter and the next chapter are my two favorite chapters. :D**


	10. Chapter 10

**I want to thank SecretLifeOfAChemNerd for the review. Again, your reviews always make me smile. I also want to thank OptimisticallyHeartbroken for their awesome review. I know you have a lot of choices when you read fanfiction so thanks for choosing mine.**

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**Tell**** Me**** That**** You ****Love ****Me**

**Part**** 10**

I groaned at the incessant knocking coming from my front door. I didn't want to, but I forced myself out of my bed and trudged my way to the door. There was only one person who would be knocking on my door at such an ungodly hour. Looking through the window on my door, I rolled my eyes, seeing exactly who I thought it was.

He gave a small smile and a wave. I moved the curtain back over the window, but didn't make a move to open it. "Logan, please open the door." Kendall's voice floated through.

I crossed my arms. "Go home and get some sleep Kendall."

He paused. I almost thought he had left, until he shakily responded, "I need someone to talk to."

He sounded so vulnerable. So un-Kendall-like. Throughout this whole mess, I didn't think of how this was affecting Kendall. He was right in the middle of it all, having to take crap form everyone. No one to turn to, no one on his side. He was probably desperate. Not for someone on his side, but just for someone to sit and listen to him. I had James, Dustin had him...and I was the closest Kendall had to that.

But it wasn't fair! Why the hell does it have to be me? I wasn't ready for this! I was doing great without him. I was so close to moving on. I so afraid that if I saw those big green eyes...I would be right back where I started.

"Please, Logie..."

I swallowed thickly. This was one time when I absolutely hated that nickname. I took a deep breath and reached for the knob, taking my time to prepare myself for what was behind the door. When I opened the door, I saw Kendall standing there, looking close to tears. "Come in." I sighed.

He gave an attempt to smile as he walked in and kicked off his shoes. I didn't wait for him as I started for the kitchen and sat at the table. Kendall soon joined me. We sat in uncomfortable silence, a lot like the night Kendall found out Dustin was in love with him.

In fact, almost exactly the same. "Deja vu." I chuckled.

"What?"

My eyes darted to the blond, a small smile tweaking at the corners of my mouth. "I was just thinking about how familiar this situation feels."

Kendall let out a small laugh. "Oh, yeah."

"Except this time I'm completely prepared for another mind fuck, if that's what you're here for." I added before I could think about what I was saying. I don't know where this sudden wave of bluntness came from. I regretted the words as soon as Kendall looked at me with sad eyes. "Look, I'm sorry, I didn't let you in to dump a guilt trip on you."

He shrugged. "It's okay. I deserve it for everything I did to you."

I rolled my eyes. I was beginning to understand why James was so frustrated with me. People who blame themselves for everything was exhausting...or maybe that's because I was awake in the middle of the night. Speaking of which... "You said you wanted to talk, and it couldn't have been about this."

"Dustin and I had a fight and kind of broke up." He shrugged as if it were no big deal.

My mouth, however, dropped in shock. "Kendall!" He looked up at me, his eyes impassive. "How can you be so cool about this?"

"It's no big deal, Logan." He crossed his arms over his chest in a stubborn fashion.

Not to self: send James a giant 'I'm sorry' cake for putting him through this.

"Bull shit!" I exclaimed, my eyes narrowing slightly.

Kendall looked surprised. "Excuse me?"

"That is such major bull shit, Kendall Schmidt, and you know it. You were just on my door step, nearly in tears, begging me to let you in so you could talk. Now you're just going to sit here, lying to my face, saying that it's 'No big deal'?" I asked. When he didn't answer, I kept going. "No, Kendall. It's not going to work that way. I care about you way too much to let you shut me out like this..."

It was weird as I found myself borrowing the words James had said to me. How did I become the voice of reason all of a sudden? I studied the blond in front of me but he only continued his refusal to speak. "Kendall," I called to him again in a much softer tone. I hesitated a bit before lifting my hand and placing it on top of his. "Please, talk."

I could tell he was breaking when he started blinking rapidly and shaking his head. "I just...he thinks it'll make everything better." I could tell he was having mixed emotions about this statement. "He just wants everything to be the way it was, even if it means sacrificing his own happiness."

I smile slightly at this. It was such a Dustin thing to do. He was just selfless like that. "Sounds like he really loves you."

Kendall sighed. "I guess, but...I think I'm still in love with you."

I breathed in and out slowly. I waited so long to hear Kendall say that, but, at this moment, it just didn't feel right. "That's just it Kendall. You _think_ you're still in love with me. You might just be afraid to admit you love Dustin because it's new and unfamiliar." I smiled softly at him, squeezing his hand comfortingly. "Falling in love is scary, but you just gotta trust yourself and the person you fall for." I shrugged. "And then in the end, no matter what happens...it was worth it."

"I don't want to hurt you, Logie."

"I don't want you to hurt Dustin or Dustin to hurt himself just to protect my feelings." I rolled my eyes. "God, do I look that helpless?"

This elicited a laugh from Kendall. "No, of course not. You're one of the strongest people I know." He ran his thumb over my knuckles. It wasn't until then that I realized I was still holding his hand. "But if Dustin takes me back -"

"When." I interrupted. "_When _he takes you back..."

He chuckled again. "I promise we'll be extra careful around you."

"Don't worry about it." I shrugged.

He quirked a ridiculous brow. "Really?"

"Yeah, I'm sure James will keep me plenty distracted." I smiled to myself.

I glanced over to see Kendall's brow shoot up higher, now hidden by his bangs, half in shock, half in amusement. We both laughed, our clasped hands shaking with our bodies. "How did you get so cool?" Kendall asked as we sobered up.

"I was born this way."

At that Kendall burst out laughing. "And on that note, I should go."

"I'll walk you to the door." I chuckled as well.

We stood, our hands still loosely entwined. I opened the door, allowing him to walk out. When he stepped onto the porch, he didn't let go of my hand. Instead he pulled me outside too. We were chest to chest. We hadn't been this close in a long time. I looked up at him with a confused expression, but before I could voice it, his lips were on mine.

Our lips were just pressed together. There was no movement, we stood there unmoving. Our hands only remained connected by the pads of our fingers. My brows furrowed the longer the kiss went on. I reopened my eyes to see Kendall wearing the same expression. The moment was awkward to say the least.

We both pulled back at the same time. Kendall's brows were knit together, his eyes shifting in thought. My appearance was probably no better. Kendall's eyes finally found mine. "Anything?"

I shook my head. "No."

"Me neither."

I chuckled. "Night, Kendall."

"Night."

We finally allowed ours hands to completely drop from one another, walking our separate ways.

* * *

**I ****totally**** put**** a**** metaphor ****in ****here****! ****Raise**** your ****hand ****if**** you ****caught ****it**** :****D**


	11. Chapter 11

**Tell**** Me**** That**** You**** Love**** Me**

**Part**** 11**

I can't believe this. I don't think I've ever been so miserable in my life. I mean, yeah, I was pretty bad when Kendall was with Logan, but at least then it was because I knew I didn't have a chance with him. It's worse now, because I know I had a chance with him...and I blew it. No..._we_ blew it. It wasn't just my fault. He's the one who was getting jealous over his _ex_-boyfriend.

I sighed. This whole thing is just screwed up. Maybe it would've been better for Kendall to have stayed in the dark about my feelings toward him. Then we would still be best friends, and I would be moving on. Or...trying to at least.

This just isn't fair.

Why can't things just work out the way I want them to for once? Why can't I be happy, and stay happy for once? Why the hell can't I get my happy ending? I mean, I know life isn't a movie, or a story in a fairytale...but is it so bad that I wish it were? That I want my happy ever after? With Kendall?

I was interrupted from my thoughts by a knock on the door. I groaned. "Go away!" I yelled loud enough so whoever it was could hear me, since I was currently laying on my bed in my room, complaining into a pillow.

There was a minute of silence, and then whoever was at the door started knocking again. The persistent knocking kept going until I got annoyed and got up. "What part of 'Go away!' don't you understand?" I said angrily, as I opened the door. The person on the other side just looked at me.

I glared. "What do _you_ want?" I growled.

"Right now, I just want to come in. Is that okay?" The small brunette asked softly.

"Why?"

He blinked. "I want to talk to you. About what happened with you and Kendall."

My glare deepened. "Of course he would go to you. He always goes to you. After all, you are his _Logie_." I sneered.

The other boy glared. "Wait a minute. I am _not_ his Logie, or anything. I used to be. I wish I still was, but I'm not anymore. I'm just Logan. I'm no body's."

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever you say. Look, I'm busy at the moment and I don't feel like talking. Especially to you. So here's what's gonna happen. I'm gonna shut the door in your face, and go back to my bed. And you're going to go back to the studio where you should be, and forget about all of this. Got it." I didn't wait for a response. "Good. Now bye." I closed the door.

The door stopped short. I looked down to see a foot in the way. How 1950s. I rolled my eyes. "Actually, Dustin, it's gonna work this way." He pushed the door back open and came in anyway. He was strong for a little guy. "I tried to be civil about this, but obviously you're not going to let it work that way. You only want to be angry at me. I don't even know why you're mad at me. I have nothing to do with what goes on with you and Kendall. But whatever, that's fine. If you want this to be a fight, it'll be a fight, but right now, you're going to sit down, shut up, and fucking listen." He glared, slamming more door shut.

_Oh__ hell__ no__._ "No the fuck I'm not! Who do you think you are, coming in _my_ apartment, telling me what _I__'__m_ going to do?"

"I _think _I'm here to help you, but you just want to be angry and bitter all the time. You're happy there. You don't really want Kendall, because if you did you'd do what ever you could to get him back instead of pushing him further away."

"I do want him back! I love him for Christ's sake! I would do anything to get him back!" I yelled at him. I took a breath, and looked down. "But I can't." I said sadly. The tears started to come, and I had to fight to hold them back. "I can't get him back. He loves you." I whispered, afraid my voice would crack if I spoke any louder.

Logan sighed. "What gave you that idea?"

"He fucking said it!"

"He's confused!" Logan yelled back at me. "This hasn't been easy on him. For almost a year he was with me, and then he finds out his best friend is in love with him...It's a big change! You didn't really expect him to automatically say he loves you, right?" He raised a brow at me. I only shrugged. "He may not be ready to say it yet but he shows it. I know he cares about you more than he cares about me, but you just doubt it for some reason." He began to pace. "You know, that's the reason I never liked you. He _always_ cared about you more. Do you know how many dates he canceled with me just to be with you?"

My eyes widened. I only knew about that one. "There were others?"

"Yes, a _lot_ more." He laughed a little. "He also couldn't live with me because he can't stand the thought of being away from you. Did you know he was considering giving all this up for you? If for some reason you hadn't become our lead guitarist, he would've walked away from Big Time Rush. There wouldn't have been a me and Kendall if it weren't for you."

I looked down, rubbing my arm. "I-I didn't know that."

"Of course you didn't."

"I always thought you were getting Kendall to jump through all these hoops for you. I always wondered how you did it."

Logan finally stopped pacing, stopping to stand right in front of me. "You were the ring master here. Kendall would do anything for you. I didn't see it before, but you guys make the perfect couple."

I raised my brow at him. "We do?"

"Yeah," He shrugged. "You're both oblivious. You can both be pretty big jackasses. And you're both stupid."

I furrowed my brows. He was really going to go back to insulting me? "Dude..."

The short boy laughed. "You two were made for each other actually."

Those words sounded so weird coming from him. If you had told me a year ago that Logan Henderson would be standing in my apartment telling me that Kendall and I are meant to be together, I would have laughed in your face. "Why are you doing this? I know you still love him, and you hate me for taking him away, right? Why are you pushing us together?"

"I'm doing it _because_ I still love him." He said softly. "Because you make him happy and I want him to be happy." He shrugged. "It wouldn't be fair for me to keep something that isn't mine, right? And I'm ready to move forward with my life. I can focus on the show and the band for now, but I'll _eventually _find someone else...maybe a brunet this time." He smirked.

I raised my brow slightly at the undertone of that comment and stored it away for later. There was an awkward silence. What do even say to the person still in love with your, technically ex, boyfriend that you are also in love with when they come to your home and convince you to them them back? "Uh, thanks, I guess."

Yeah, that works.

Logan chuckled. "It's only as awkward as you make it, D." He pulled his keys out of his pocket and jingled them. "Let's go." He announced heading towards the door.

"Go?" I shifted my eyes. "Go where?"

"The studio."

My eyes shifted again, slowly following him. "For...?"

He smiled brightly. "So you can get back together with Kendall."

* * *

**I'm writing the other chapters at this moment guys. I'll post them as soon as you review.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Tell**** Me**** That**** You ****Love**** Me**

**Part**** 12**

My eyes widened. "What? No, no, no, no. No way. Not right now, at least. He's probably pissed at me, and it just wouldn't go well if I went up there now. He probably wouldn't even listen."

"Dustin, he's definitely going to talk to you. He's not pissed, I promise."

"How can you be so sure?" I asked him.

"Trust me. He'll listen." Logan smirked.

I was still skeptical, but agreed.

The brunette's smile widened as we walked out the door. It felt like he was way too excited about this. It was a little scary. Maybe we weren't going to the studio at all. Maybe he was going to do away with me and then take Kendall for himself.

It would make sense.

He could be with Kendall without worry of me getting in his way.

Or maybe I've been watching too many horror movies.

Either way, I had riled myself up enough to be nervous when sliding into the passenger seat of his car. I was tense the entire ride, but the closer we got to our destination, the less the tension came from being alone with Logan but instead the thought of being alone with Kendall.

Logan said he would talk to me, but he wasn't really a genius; he only played one. He didn't know everything. I managed to avoid the blonde for days, and he expected me to just waltz in there, talk to Kendall, and he would take me back?

There was no way that would ever work.

Logan's car parked and the engine shut off. He sighed. "Ready for this?" He mumbled.

I glanced at him. He wasn't looking at me, but at his lap. I wasn't sure if he was talking to me or himself. I inhaled deeply and huffed out the air. "Alright, let's go." I opened the door and began to climb out. I stopped when I noticed Logan wasn't moving. I looked back at him, he seemed deep in thought. "Hey," He jumped slightly. "You okay?"

"Hm?" He blinked a few times before chuckling softly. "Oh, yeah. I just..." He began nervously rubbing up and down his thighs. "I think it's probably better if I stay out here, just in case I have a momentary relapse and try to stop you." He shrugged with a crooked smile.

I laughed a bit, but I could tell this was a genuine concern of his. "You know, we don't have to..."

"Yes, you do." Logan laughed.

"But-"

"Dammit Dustin, just go." He pushed me the rest of the way out of his car. "And I was your ride here, so don't even think about running." He shut the door and locked it.

I shifted my eyes before slowly walking towards the the set. I still had awful nerves, but I walked in, feigning my usual confidence. I greeted familiar people as if nothing were going on. Everything seemed normal on the outside, but on the inside I was freaking out.

Kendall hated me - I was almost sure of it. Logan was covering up his emotions again - that I was positive of - and it was all my fault.

I was miserable again, and all I had done was walk a few feet.

I knew I shouldn't have left the apartment.

I got even closer and began to slow down. I was starting to feel sick. I couldn't do this. I had to go back. I just had to tell Logan that it didn't work out and I could spend the rest of the day (or my life) avoiding this.

Just when I was about to turn around and not run away, but walk quickly and with purpose, a voice stopped me. "Dustin?" I turned around slowly, grateful to see brunette instead of blond.

I gave a small wave as he walked toward me. "Hey, James."

"You're here." He sounded shocked and a little relieved.

"I am."

"I can't believe he got you here." James laughed.

"The man is persuasive." I laughed too.

James nodded. "So," He looked around. "Where is he?"

I raised my brow at him. "He's sitting in his car. He was looking kinda bummed when I left. Maybe you should..." Before I could finish he was walking past me toward the parking lot. I blinked, turning to his retreating figure. "W-wait! Have you seen Kendall?" I called after him.

I didn't get a response.

So I was back to walking. Great, he was no help. How am I suppose to find Kendall while silently freaking out? I had decided to walk out once again when I saw the blond coming from the set looking irritated. My heart jumped and then I decided that I just couldn't do it. Unfortunately, Kendall caught my eye just before I could turn to go.

"Wait, Dustin!" He yelled as I tried to turn quickly. He ran to me and roughly grabbed my arm pulling me into his dressing room. "I wanted to talk to you..."

Because that wasn't obvious. I mentally rolled my eyes and looked him in the eye. I could see that he was telling the truth. I put on a front, and a smirk, and said, "Then talk."

He visibly choked up because of my upfront attitude. As he tried to sum up the courage to say what ever he needed to say, he turned and started to pace. I let my expression soften as I said, "Kendall... Just say what you need to say."

He startled me by saying, "Have you missed me at all throughout this?" He continued to face the wall avoiding my eyes.

I chuckled without humor and said, "Out of everything that has happened, you still have to ask that? You know how I feel about you." He turned with a glimmer of hope in his eyes waiting for more.

"Um... What else do you want me to say?" I shifted uncomfortably, and he noticed.

"Nothing, I guess. You probably thought I was mad, huh?" I didn't need to answer him because the "duh!" was clear on my face. He continued, "I'm sorry I haven't come to you sooner. I was trying to come up with a way that I could easily explain it all to you. I don't think there is an easy, short way, so here goes..." He took a deep breath.

"A few weeks ago I found out that you were in love with me. When that happened, I was confused - extremely confused. I didn't know what to do about it and the first person I wanted to talk to about it was you. But I couldn't do that. What was I going to say to you? So I went to Logan, hoping he could help me clear my head. And he did, at least I thought he did. I knew I cared about you. The way Logan explained it to me - how it was obvious you loved me - he said that you treated me like I was your everything.

"Well, Dustin, you're _my_everything. You always have been." He took another breath, looking right into my eyes. "I know I messed up..."

"Yes, you did." I nodded, with a small smile.

He chuckled. "But I'm hoping you could give me another chance to make things right with us. I meant it that night when I said I don't want to lose you. I know I've never said it, but I thought I showed it enough for you to know that. Just tell me what I have to do to at least start making things right."

I was the type of guy who would always make fun of sappy love speeches in movies and books. They were always so corny and cliche. They were ridiculous, but also hilarious. But after sitting here, listening to Kendall's I couldn't stop the grin that spread across my face. Why did he have to be such a sap sometimes. I looked at my feet, in an attempt to hide the blush on my cheeks.

"I know you're not ready to say it." I finally said. "But that doesn't change that when you finally said it to me, you called me Logan. Out of all the things you said that night, Kendall, that hurt the most. It's going to take me a long time to get over that." He lowered his head, nodding in understanding. "But..." He looked back up with hope filled eyes. I couldn't resist the chuckle that escaped. "But in the mean time we could take things a little slower. Maybe go on an actual date first?" It came out as more of a question and I tried not to let it show how excited I was at the prospect of going on a date with the blond.

He smiled widely at me. "Sounds like a plan."

* * *

I sat in my car waiting. For what? I don't know. I just didn't want to have to listen to Kendall make a whole speech abut how much he loved Dustin. I was moving on and making progress, yes, but there was only so much I could handle. I was proud of myself for getting this far. I could have easily turned this situation around so that Kendall was mine again. I could have had everything I wanted.

I sighed. That wasn't true. I wouldn't have Kendall's heart. No matter how much a were to twist and manipulate the situation to work in my favor, I could never make Kendall love me. That night when Kendall kissed me, it hurt to find out that he didn't feel anything anymore, but he was always Dustin's and I would have to deal with that.

It was a lot easier with James there to help me. I seriously owed him. I wasn't holding anything in anymore (not like James would let me) and the talking was actually making me feel better. They are what actually made me do what I did. Have James sit down with me as often as I needed and to selflessly help me is what inspired me to go to Dustin's apartment today. That, and Kendall's pouty face every morning when he came in.

It was so heartbreaking and sad.

I couldn't take it anymore.

I knew I couldn't put a smile on that face anymore, but I knew someone who could. So, as soon as I got the chance I jumped into my car and got Dustin here to put an end to it.

Okay, so maybe I did it just so my heart would stop breaking every time I saw Kendall (which was a lot), but could you blame me? A frown isn't an expression that Kendall Schmidt should adorn. It doesn't suit him. So sue me. There is not such thing as a completely selfless act.

But I still think I should get a medal or something for taking it all so well.

I genuinely thought that I would be okay. I could be happy just knowing that Kendall was happy and I could be happy for him. It took so long to realize it because my want to be angry at Kendall and Dustin and my selfishness to have Kendall back to myself outweighed my conscience. I always knew what the right thing to do was, but I don't think I would have gotten there on my own. I was just thankful for...

I was brought from my thoughts by a knock on my window. Speak of the devil and he shall appear. James was raising a brow at me as I rolled the window down. "Yes?" I smirked.

"Everything okay?"

I chuckled at the irony. "Everything is...fine." I said, truly meaning it. He must have caught on because he smiled too. "James," He hummed in response.

I shuffled out of the car and wrapped my arms around the tell boy. He didn't return it right away - probably from the shock of the sudden PDA - but soon his arms were wrapped around me too. "What's this for?" He questioned quietly.

A small smile tweaked at the corners of my mouth. "Just...Thanks."

* * *

**It's *sob* almost *sniffle* over! One more chapter. I wanna thank all of your guys for the great reviews**. **I appreciate them, I really do. They keep me motivated to do more. *blows kisses***


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